Fungus Among Us- Part 1

Some might think of poop as a bit of a departure from the typical content of the blog, but I figure it is related because what goes in, must come out…

Eliana had an appointment at the pediatrician yesterday morning for a rash that keeps showing up on her cheek. Maybe it’s just me, but when I’m going to see her doctor, I’m armed with a bunch of questions other than whatever the appointment was booked for. So, I planned to ask about the mark on her ankle that I thought might be a burn (F****ing baseboard heater!!), as well as the never-ending sleep questions. But, when I was changing her diaper in the morning, she had the beginnings of a diaper rash. Sadly, my baby’s butt is no stranger to an evil diaper rash, so it got me worried.

We were in the examination room and I began taking off the billions of layers we both need to wear to keep us warm. And that’s when I smelled the poop. Ugh. I began stripping her down even further when I felt her under-onesie was wet. With poop. Yuck! And you know me by now, so what was my first thought? Oh no! Her clothes! I’d actually put her in a cute white onesie with a little design as opposed to the standard Carter’s brand plain onesie. Eliana has only had one or two major “poop-tastraphes” where poop gets all over and her clothes get thrown out. Needless to say, I don’t deal with them well. (Are you surprised? If I freak out about food getting everywhere, can you imagine my reaction to poop getting everywhere?? Please.)

So, Eliana is screaming (she has some powerful lungs for such a little person) and I’m trying not to panic about the poop going all over the place and the fact that I have to change her on an elevated surface. I’ve stopped changing diapers and clothes anywhere except on our large floor mat now that she just wants to be moving. It makes me nervous that she will army-crawl off a changing table and I’m better able to keep her still when I can sit her on my lap or use my legs too. It’s a work out for both of us!

But, back to the exam room.  Eliana is half-naked, screaming bloody murder, and leaning out of her clothes to escape from me. I’m all red, frazzled and pleading with her to chill out and stay still.

And this is when the doctor walks in.

Obviously.

In my panicked state, I began rapid-fire telling her why we were there while trying to yank the nasty onesie off Eliana’s body. “Well, there’s a rash on her cheek that won’t go away and I think she might have a burn on her ankle from the heater and she has a diaper rash that I just discovered an hour ago and now there is poop all over.” The doctor calmly pointed out that I should probably pull the poop-soaked onesie down over Eliana’s shoulders to get it off rather than dragging it over her head. Duh. That makes a lot of sense. And then the doctor offered to help change her.

How's my T-Zone?

We got the other ailments sorted out. It is seasonal dry skin on her cheek so I now have to put Aquaphor all over Eliana’s face at every diaper change. 

Yes, it is a burn on her ankle but it isn’t infected so three times a day I have to put Neosporin on her ankle. 

And, it turns out, there is a fungus among us. Eliana has a fungal diaper rash. (EW!!! I mean, “Oh, my poor baby.”)

So, each time I change her diaper I have to gently blot, not wipe (how do you get all the sticky solid-food-eating poop off her butt that way?), then put Lotrimin, as in the stuff you put on athlete’s foot, all over her girl parts and booty, then cover all that with Desitin or any other heavy-duty-zinc-filled diaper cream. And, good luck in not getting some sort of bodily excrement, cream or lotion all over one or both of us. HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right. Oh wait. And the best part is that the mot effective remedy for diaper rash is to leave her “open to air” as in naked.

The set up-looks like a Red Cross center!

Mommy, are you really going to photograph a diaper change?

Took me most of the day to figure out that I should squeeze both creams into the diaper before applying.

I know this because, as I said earlier, my poor baby’s butt had the most evil diaper rash you could imagine back when she was a month old from being on three super strong antibiotics at once. You think those meds affect your tummy? Our only experience with projectile poops was during this time. 

My little lady was so sick that she was in the hospital and Matt and I would walk into her room and find her naked from the waist down with her little booty in the air and a tube of oxygen blowing right at it. It was actually a funny sight to see. But, Eliana was a new, new, new baby so she wasn’t mobile. Leaving her naked to poop and pee all over was certainly daunting but easily do-able since she pretty much slept anyway. 

After she came home from the hospital, Matt would put on his crappy shorts (pun intended) and sit shirtless on the easy chair (re-named the “poop chair”). I’d cover him in old towels and then wee-wee pads. Yep, the kind you use for your dog. Then I’d put my sweet little naked baby with her swollen, red butt right on his lap and we’d just hang out and watch tv for a while. 

But to try something like that now?  She doesn’t stay still! Ever. Even when she sleeps she creeps around her crib. And the mess? I shudder as I think about it.  

Poor Little Love

How does all this effect Eliana’s eating? Her eating isn’t supposed to change at all. Apparently, this type of rash isn’t uncommon.  But, I am going to change her diet a bit and give her more yogurt and oatmeal, rather than fruits and vegetables over the next few days. Yogurt to help kill the fungus and oatmeal to bind her poops a bit more. Luckily, she likes both (yogurt and oatmeal, not fungus and bound poops).

Hey! Can I get some food around here??

Bananas and yogurt. Yum!