Some might think of
poop as a bit of a departure from the typical content of the blog, but I figure
it is related because what goes in, must come out…
Eliana had an
appointment at the pediatrician yesterday morning for a rash that keeps
showing up on her cheek. Maybe it’s just me, but when I’m going to see her
doctor, I’m armed with a bunch of questions other than whatever the appointment
was booked for. So, I planned to ask about the mark on her ankle that I thought
might be a burn (F****ing baseboard heater!!), as well as the never-ending sleep
questions. But, when I was changing her diaper in the morning, she had the
beginnings of a diaper rash. Sadly, my baby’s butt is no stranger to an evil
diaper rash, so it got me worried.
We were in the
examination room and I began taking off the billions of layers we both need to
wear to keep us warm. And that’s when I smelled the poop. Ugh. I began
stripping her down even further when I felt her under-onesie was wet. With
poop. Yuck! And you know me by now, so what was my first thought? Oh no! Her
clothes! I’d actually put her in a cute white onesie with a little design as
opposed to the standard Carter’s brand plain onesie. Eliana has only had one or
two major “poop-tastraphes” where poop gets all over and her clothes get thrown
out. Needless to say, I don’t deal with them well. (Are you surprised? If I
freak out about food getting everywhere, can you imagine my reaction to poop
getting everywhere?? Please.)
So, Eliana is
screaming (she has some powerful lungs for such a little person) and I’m trying
not to panic about the poop going all over the place and the fact that I have
to change her on an elevated surface. I’ve stopped changing diapers and
clothes anywhere except on our large floor mat now that she just wants to be
moving. It makes me nervous that she will army-crawl off a changing table and
I’m better able to keep her still when I can sit her on my lap or use my legs
too. It’s a work out for both of us!
But, back to the exam room. Eliana is half-naked, screaming bloody
murder, and leaning out of her clothes to escape from me. I’m all red, frazzled
and pleading with her to chill out
and stay still.
And this is when
the doctor walks in.
Obviously.
In my panicked
state, I began rapid-fire telling her why we were there while trying to yank
the nasty onesie off Eliana’s body. “Well, there’s a rash on her cheek that
won’t go away and I think she might have a burn on her ankle from the heater
and she has a diaper rash that I just discovered an hour ago and now there is
poop all over.” The doctor calmly pointed out that I should probably pull the
poop-soaked onesie down over Eliana’s shoulders to get it off rather than
dragging it over her head. Duh. That makes a lot of sense. And then the doctor offered
to help change her.
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How's my T-Zone? |
We got the other
ailments sorted out. It is seasonal dry skin on her cheek so I now have to put
Aquaphor all over Eliana’s face at every diaper change.
Yes, it is a burn on her ankle but it isn’t infected so
three times a day I have to put Neosporin on her ankle.
And, it turns out,
there is a fungus among us. Eliana has a fungal diaper rash. (EW!!! I mean,
“Oh, my poor baby.”)
So, each time I change her diaper I have to gently blot, not wipe (how do you get all the sticky solid-food-eating poop off her butt that way?), then put Lotrimin, as in the stuff you put on athlete’s foot, all over her girl parts and booty, then cover all that with Desitin or any other heavy-duty-zinc-filled diaper cream. And, good luck in not getting some sort of bodily excrement, cream or lotion all over one or both of us. HAHAHAHA! Yeah, right. Oh wait. And the best part is that the mot effective remedy for diaper rash is to leave her “open to air” as in naked.
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The set up-looks like a Red Cross center! |
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Mommy, are you really going to photograph a diaper change? |
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Took me most of the day to figure out that I should squeeze both creams into the diaper before applying.
I know this
because, as I said earlier, my poor baby’s butt had the most evil diaper
rash you could imagine back when she was a month old from being on three super strong antibiotics at once.
You think those meds affect your tummy? Our only experience with projectile
poops was during this time.
My little lady was so sick that she was in the hospital and Matt and I would walk into her room and find her
naked from the waist down with her little booty in the air and a tube of oxygen
blowing right at it. It was actually a funny sight to see. But, Eliana was a
new, new, new baby so she wasn’t mobile. Leaving her
naked to poop and pee all over was certainly daunting but easily do-able since
she pretty much slept anyway.
After she came home from the hospital, Matt would put on his
crappy shorts (pun intended) and sit shirtless on the easy chair (re-named the
“poop chair”). I’d cover him in old towels and then wee-wee pads. Yep, the kind
you use for your dog. Then I’d put my sweet little naked baby with her swollen,
red butt right on his lap and we’d just hang out and watch tv for a while.
But
to try something like that now?
She doesn’t stay still! Ever. Even when she sleeps she creeps around her
crib. And the mess? I shudder as I think about it.
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Poor Little Love |
How does all this
effect Eliana’s eating? Her eating isn’t supposed to change at all. Apparently,
this type of rash isn’t uncommon.
But, I am going to change her diet a bit and give her more yogurt and
oatmeal, rather than fruits and vegetables over the next few days. Yogurt to
help kill the fungus and oatmeal to bind her poops a bit more. Luckily, she
likes both (yogurt and oatmeal, not fungus and bound poops).
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Hey! Can I get some food around here?? |
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Bananas and yogurt. Yum! |